Usually when we give away kindness, we get it back. The reason why we for example smile to other people is because it feels good and it even makes others happy. But it should only be done without any expectations. If someone doesn’t smile back to us we shouldn’t be disappointed. In this beautiful world unfortunately we don’t only have people with good hearts. I’m not saying that someone who doesn’t treat us with respect is a bad person. There are among us lots of people that don’t even realize they sometimes hurt us just because they talk or act without using their mind. Some of them are good people, they just haven’t had the opportunity to learn to take others opinion into consideration. Others are not being honest and they abuse our trust, but for us it’s to remain honest and knowing that we did good. That empowers us to stay the good persons we are. Knowing that, makes us strong and gives us back that smile on our faces that we tend to lose sometimes.
Of course it’s impossible to say that one will never ever be disappointed if one starts expecting less. There are moments that we’ll be disappointed anyway. Unfortunately those moments do exist.
I lost my best friend many years ago. After she passed away, during the first years, I didn`t know how to deal with the fact that I had the idea that God let her and me down. I really expected her to get better and she herself was also convinced it would happen. But suddenly she was gone! It took a long time before I understood that I shouldn’t have blamed God. I was so convinced and I prayed and begged but also expected that He would make sure she would get better. She didn’t, so I felt this deep disappointment. It would have been wiser if I would have been more realistic and prepared myself for the possibility of the big disappointment I could encounter.
But on the other hand, a few years ago I almost lost my Mom and all I did was hoping and asking Him for help. No expectations at all, just gratefulness for the moments spent together with her, and what was the result? She got better! So you see, one can get happiness also without having any expectations, but by being positive, very positive! Positivism brings happiness in our lives.
As long as we live we have to enjoy our lives and we shouldn`t focus on bad things and people that let us down or disappoints us.
Within the years I learned a lot, I felt many times, stood up again and started expecting less from people. After my best friend passed away I was giving a lot of trust to some of my other friends and doing everything they wished me to do even if I didn’t really like it. Seeing others satisfied made me also happy, at least, that’s what I thought at that time.
I wasn’t complaining about anything, in fact, I was accepting everything! If I would give an idea and it would be ignored, I wouldn’t start a discussing ’cause I wouldn’t wanted ruin the good ambiance and as I was learned to be thankful with what I have, I was able to accept fast. I was living up their expectations. But, in the meanwhile in my heart I wished sometimes that the day would come for them to give me an act of kindness back. Then, one day I realized I was wishing for something that can not be and that I could never be really happy if I kept thinking and hoping for people to treat me the same way as I was treating them. Probably I was expecting my closest friends unconsciously to be like my best friend, which was impossible! At that point I opened my eyes. I was lucky to have known this special person that looked like me, thought the same way I did and loved things I loved. But not everybody is the same. So, from that moment on I stopped expecting unrealistic things to happen and I started seeing the differences in people and learned that everybody is different. Choosing for myself was the biggest and the toughest change. No expectations but only honesty and facing that suddenly the same people couldn`t bear that I was being the real me. So I lost many people around me, but real ones stayed. One is fairer than another, one kinder than another, some living in their own world without “giving something back when they always get from others” in a natural way but I choose to see the good in them and not to expect too much and that made my life easier and nicer.
Once in a while when you forget not to expect too much and when this thing in life called disappointment reaches you and you get off track, react on time and see it as another lesson learned. A little scar might be left behind, but consider that scar as a proof of what you’ve learned.
Nowadays, the area where I encounter disappointments frequently is respect. I’ll never understand why it’s difficult for some people to naturally respect their fellows, but I have accepted that it’s part of life. Since I started expecting less, I noticed I get more positive surprises coming my way.
Precisely at moments you don’t expect anything, joy and success comes easily. They won’t only make you happy but also stronger and they’ll make you understand things better and see the value of things and people in life.